Kinver.info has recently discovered that for the past two months, Kinver Parish Council has been run by a bunch of monkeys on loan from Dudley Zoo and nobody noticed.
The experiment has been run as an attempt to cut costs from the local government budget, and in response to a number of comments from local residents who have regularly suggested that the place would be better run by a bunch of babbling primates.
Mike Littisore, current Chairman of the council said, “We received a comment from a local resident saying that it seems like the council is run by a bunch of monkeys, so we thought we’d give it a go.”
On the face of it, the experiment seems to have been a success. So far nobody has noticed anything different, and finance and planning decisions appear to have been more efficient.
Mike continued, “We changed the decision making process drastically, and now all planning applications are written on Post-it notes, stuck to a wall and the monkeys throw darts at them. Those that hit get approved.”
There have also been some very positive knock-on effects.
Barry McCociner, clerk to the council said, “We’ve had to change the meetings quite a lot in order to accommodate the monkeys, but it’s been very useful. We’ve been able to use a lot of the tyres dumped in Wiggly Bank Road and hang them from the meeting room roof, and we’ve now also got plenty of manure to put on the plants at Danesford Gardens.”
One major change is the structure of meetings. Traditional prayers have been cancelled seeing as the alpha male got bored and stuck a banana up his bum right in front of the vicar.
Success
The experiment has been such a success that other organisations will be replacing their teams with monkeys over the next few months.
The Rotary Group have already started drafting in macaques to help with their event management and Kinver Country Fayre have recently hired a number of marmosets to deal with complaint letters, a squirrel monkey to handle their website and the entire directorship will be replaced by a troop of gibbons.
With all these changes, we asked whether the High Street would simply result with a menagerie of chimps throwing shit at each other, to which Mike replied “yes, we see no reason why that would change.”