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A local group who managed to get 600 objections to someone’s planned garage extension have said they don’t give a flying fig about the fact over 100 homes are planned for White Hill.

When Arthur Scroggins planned to make his garage a little bit bigger, a local group of activists built up a huge following on social media and successfully made him look like an environmental terrorist by writing to hundreds of homeowners and getting them to object via the South Staffordshire Planning Portal citing a list of reasons why it shouldn’t be built.

In a carefully planned operation, they highlighted the plight of a local colony of muntjac deer who once walked near Arthur’s proposed garage.

In one objection, it was stated that if the garage goes ahead then the deer are likely never to visit again which would in turn result in the breakdown of the colony, destruction of the food chain and the end of Western Civilisation as we know it.

Another objection was from a family in New Zealand who argued that their view of the area via Google Street View would be slightly affected by the corner of the new garage and it would leave them emotionally scarred.

Commenting on the objections, local planning official, Anita Gofradump , said; “I have to admit, this was quite possibly the most well-planned and executed objection to a garage I have ever seen. They provided us with geophysical survey data, line of sight analysis proving that the garage would be seen from five miles away, and somehow they got a satellite image taken from the ISS that showed the area was once the site of a roman spa bath.”

Anita continued; “The evidence just continued to pour in, with DNA samples provided that showed the area was regularly visited by deer, badgers, and something we’re currently checking with the natural history museum but that appears to show there’s a family of Barbary macaques living in the trees.”

Arthur was forced to withdraw his planning application when the objectors managed to arrange for a special visit by the Pontifical Swiss Guard.

However, when asked if they would bring their exceptional research and skills to bear on the proposed plan to build 100 homes on White Hill, they refused, stating “it’s up to others.”

Mike Littisore, our planning correspondent interviewed the head of the group and asked them why they wouldn’t defend green belt elsewhere in the village.

They replied: “That’s someone else’s green belt, it’s not our greenbelt, and quite honestly it’s not something I’m interested in, it won’t affect my view of the chaffinches, and also, I’d quite like to live there myself, so I’m looking forward to the development. I mean, where did people live before? I think they should probably think about what was there before their houses were built. So selfish!”

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